There are no roaches in America

I was a kid when I heard from someone that in America there are no rats or roaches. That it was a very clean place, you can almost lick the sidewalks. Being a little older than me, and a boy who is cool enough to already wear trousers, I took the person who said this as an authority and his statement as truth. And for a long time I believed it as all in all. Eventually when the dazzling effulgence of coolness diminished and I being a trouser-wearing kid myself, I found out the “real” truth. But to give that person the benefit of a doubt of being just a complete liar, I think he was only able to come up with that statement because his actual experience of America was of a theme park where his parents took him for a trip. The place was in America alright, and true enough the park had no rats or roaches and the mock sidewalks seem to have just been painted the other day. So given these givens, my man concluded that yes, America is so clean. Having limited vision, not to mention limited brain power, there’s no way for him of knowing what is outside the theme park. That in fact just a few meters from the park entrance there is a water drain and underneath it is an ecosystem of six legged and four legged species of vermin. And being distracted by the goodies he got from the gift shops the real grimy sidewalks outside escaped his attention. As far as the limits of his human facility, what he reported was all the truth he can muster. But it is not the actual truth, just because he said it. His imperfect senses are not the proper vessels of the truth, so what he professed cannot be accepted, in other words it is false. Absolutely, America is not a clean place, and America has rats and roaches, and if you want to lick its sidewalks be my guest. 

In the big league there still are those who play as cool, trouser-wearing men among trouser-wearing men.  These guys love to tell you truths they gathered from big kids’ theme parks, accessible only by rocket ships and telescopes on mountain tops. Like my childhood friend, they never seem to lay off the habit of saying “there’s nothing there.” “No roaches and rodents here. Yes, sir. If there were, I should’ve seen them by now.” So they tell us, wide-eyed kids on old men’s trousers: “There is no God. Only human determination.”  And we nod, because they are so cool with their messy hair and spectacles with lenses thick as an electron microscope. Nobody is smart enough to ask: have you guys been to every part of the universe, and actually saw everything? Have you guys even ever been to every single place in the planet earth? But we give our faith to Mr. Science Man. I mean, how can you doubt? Is it even possible that a shred of lie can come out of a leather-bound science book written by PHD such and such?  And when someone expresses it in formulas isn’t that synonymous with The Truth? And the truth can’t be wrong right? Because they are scientists, they are disciples of Science, and science means truth. They invented the gadam computer right, and the computer is never wrong. And I heard science can explain everything, including why the moon is not made of green cheese. Scientists, I heard never tell a lie, it’s like their secret code, a creed of honesty. What they see is what they profess. They have such perfect vision thanks to their very scientific spectacles. But what about this book that says about everything being created by someone? What about that? I have a whole stack of creation stories in my private libe, under the mythic nonsense category.  Jesus, the truth, the way and the life, who is that? It’s like these silly books saying Odin will slay frost giants, and I’ve not seen frost giants. I mean is there even evidence that Jesus is a real person, come on. Show me. Epics. Myths. Mine is a science book, yours is a story book. Are you willing to build your life upon some Homer of the Far east? There’s no God, if there is, show me. Show me if there are roaches in America, show me a filthy American sidewalk. I dare you. And we do a standing ovation in some big hall in Sweden. Well said Mr. Science Man, I give you my heart and soul (oh, wait, there is no such thing as soul). We sleep soundly at night, dreaming “There’s nothing out there.” And we live peacefully in life shutting our eyes seeing nothing. Just simply living, and then dying and become nothing. The end.

Happy Father's Day Bastard

There's a bully at school and his name is Science. Actually that's just what's written on his name plate--a nickname--for his real name is Nescience. He thinks he knows and understands me and thus judges and criticizes me by calling me names. Big Bang Baby. The Great Accident. Primodial soup boy. Etc. He especially looks forward to this day just to say to my face "Happy father's day, bastard." He theorized that because he never saw my Father during Family days, PTA meetings, school affairs (only my mother attends) I must be fatherless. I must have just popped up inside my mother's womb from an accidental collision of dead matter which somehow became life. And that's why he thinks it's funny. I am an accident of chance. That's what he believes. And that's what he tells other kids. So they all call me bastard. But no one except my mother will ever know who my father is. Only my mother can factually tell if he exists or not. She knows who he is, where he lives, what he looks like, what his name is. No matter how hard Science tries to look in this school, in every family occasion he will never know or even see my father. For even if he appears in front of him, Science cannot know my father. He is so convinced he absolutely understands my father's non-existence. 

As much as you love yourself

Jesus Christ said that the first and foremost commandment is that we love God, our Father, with all our heart, mind, and entire being. And second is that from that love, we should also love His other children. 

This is the essence of all spiritual teachings: Love God and love others. It should be in this exact order. Love God is  first and foremost, and love others is the second commandment. Jesus did not arrange these two commandments according to this sequence without reason. The ordering is most important. One has to love God first, before he can factually love others. When one is loving God, he automatically loves others. But loving others alone cannot bring one to the point of love for God. And without tasting actual happiness of love for God one cannot love others in the truest sense. There are those who consider themselves humanists, another term for atheist, who do a lot of humanitarian work but does not love, or even believe, in God. They claim they can love others even without the need for a god. Whether their love for others is genuine or not is not for me to judge. I leave this issue for our brother atheist-humanist and death to discuss, when the truth will be resolved and revealed. 

To factually love others, one has to realize what they need; to give them what they really need we must know what will make them happy; to know what can make them really happy, we must know what they really are. The truth is revealed by saintly teachers and supported by scriptures: our true identity is spirit; we are not our body, we are not our mind; we are parts and parcels of the Supreme Spirit, God; our position is the dominated; and our function is to render loving service. When we know this then we can appreciate our connection to God and His children. It is said that God is the Supreme Father of every single living entity, from the highest being down to the lowly ant. Therefore every living entity, all life for that matter, is our kin. They are all children of God. Undoubtedly, acting upon concern for others is a laudable act. It is in a way pleasing to God. That explains the happiness we get out of loving. When God is pleased with us we experience joy, when God is displeased with us we experience misery. 

For most of us, "others" refer to different things. Usually, it signifies blood relations, the parents, siblings of our bodies, extending at most to further degrees of body kinship, cousins, etc. These are the easiest "others" to love. Naturally, for in fact they are not really "others" per se but merely the extensions of this form which we call our "self." My father, my brother, my dog, my lawn. Have you ever experienced that instance when you felt hurt when someone scratched your car? As if the car is a part of your body. You scratched me! You bumped me! So on. That's basically what I'm talking about. This chain of "my" can even progress beyond blood relations, into my friends, my classmates, my teammates, my workmates, my neighbor, my doctor, my townmate, so on. "If you mess with my BFF, you're messing with me." It seems so easy to love others as long as these "others" are in some way part of our little chain: my others. If Ms. Houston would allow me to correct her song, I'd sing "learning to love yourself is the easiest love of all." My fellow countrymen, my fellow females, my fellow brown skin. Yes, our idea of love for others may rise so high, farthest in bodily relation from our so-called self that we may think "look how unrelated I am to this famished boy, yet I am feeding him from my own hands." But at the back of our head our mind is saying, he is my same species, he is still within the chain of my  "others". 

And what is our reward for this gesture, aside from feeling good and proud about oneself? If we only got ourselves to please, then we have the commendation, the gratitude, the admiration and worship of people for us to relish. For most who help, that becomes the source of happiness. That is why in this world, it seems necessary to give away thousands of awards, titles and medals for kindness, charity, and so-called selfless activities even when in truth if we really are loving, simply the love should've been itself the prize. Will charitable institutions help anonymously? That's  perhaps the reason why they have names, right? (And there are those issues about scams regarding philanthropy, but that's a different subject.) Except for exploiting humanitarian work for profit, to be concerned like this is, of course, way better than not feeling concern at all. In times of desperation, we are not really so much into the means but with the result. And all kinds of humanitarian acts, irregardless of for whom it was performed, are most welcome, and necessary. 

One may ask: if naturally we can feel concern only for those within the chain of our body extensions, why not just expand our circle until everyone is in it? Then we'll be concerned for everyone. Even if that is possible, this kind of love, irregardless whether for a few relatives or thousands of displaced storm survivors, if it still remains in the chain of my others, is still dependent on certain things: Conditions. Even between intimate relations, there are certain conditions that determine so-called love: If she continues to act according to what is acceptable behavior to you then you love your wife, if he continues to provide you with your needs then you love your husband, if they continue to understand your need for independence then you love your parents, etc. This is what we call conditional love. A love based on "if"s. A love whose only concern is one person, himself. This is Whitney Houston philosophy after all: "the greatest love of all is to love oneself." As opposed to what saintly teachers preach: Love God, love others.  Now, some people deserve the benefit of a doubt. And for those who give away selflessly, no awards, no TV cameras, just giving for the sake of goodness, then we take our hats off. But if one actually loves God, he will have this vision that all living entities, not just humans, are spirit souls, parts and parcels of God. He will then realize that we have a common Father, therefore every being, other than ourselves, or the extensions of ourselves, is a relative, brother, kin. If he gets this vision of who he really is, and who others really are, and what relationship we have with our common Father, then there's no need to artificially take everyone in our circle of concern. If we are seeing every living entity as spirit soul, children of God, then the love and concern comes naturally. The difference is plain simple: in the first one, the center is God; in the other the center is you. 

And how exactly is it to love others? To simply give away food and clothing after a storm? To help someone change a tire? To be concerned out of pity. Yes, these are all good. Like I've said a little kindness is way better than a lot of meanness. But by our kindness are we really giving the ultimate goodwill to a person in need? Are we addressing the real need of a person? It seems that the answer will always revert to the truth of our identity: we must know who we are. We are spirit souls, parts and parcels of God. What we need is spiritual food, to taste an exchange of love with the Supreme Soul. No matter how much help we give to a person, if that help is simply directed to the body, the relief one gets from that is just a band aid solution. It is a relief, a gasp of air while drowning, but it will not last. Give him relief food, he'll eat for a day. We need food, shelter and all the basics, and by all means these must be provided. But we have to remember that simply providing these things will make someone happy for a awhile, but a profound hunger still gnaws in his heart: he is unsatisfied, lonely, empty. He needs a shelter which no storm can bring down. No amount of material thing can satisfy the soul. So if one plans to take the path of happiness by material means, then the road ahead of him is not only long, it is not only endless, but its fruitless. 

Love God, love others, all the saintly teachers agree is the real path to real happiness. And loving others here should not only be referred to as humanitarian work. Like what was previously said, it is not even supposed to be exclusive to living entities inside a human body only. But love as what it really means. A love that is beyond conditions, a love that is beyond material bodily considerations. Love for others here is a love that surfaces not only after storms or calamities, but it endeavors everyday to get everyone out of the greatest calamity of all time: suffering birth, old age, disease, and death. It is a love that has been always there in our hearts, sleeping, covered by a false love that is merely love for one's self. This love is our very essence. 

Simply put, my teacher taught, real love for others is loving them at least as much as how you love yourself. This may not be so easy as it sounds. It is actually setting aside your own wellbeing for the wellbeing of others. It is demoting yourself from first to last place. Now how easy it is to sacrifice one's place in the rat race? As easy as how anger or envy shoots up when someone takes your seat, or your job or your lover. Loving others is a vast ocean to cross, but when we are already loving God, then love for others is achieved as easy as crossing over a puddle made from a calf's hoof-print. 

Goal of life

As laid down by past saintly teachers, such as Jesus Christ, the goal of life is so simple: Love God; Love others. 

When one has achieved this, there's nothing more to be gained. When the Supreme Lord is pleased with us, life is smooth. Problems will come, but one can overcome them like crossing over a puddle of water on a calf's hoof-print instead of a vast, turbulent ocean. 

This love can only be achieved by the mercy and guidance of a lover of God, the spiritual teacher, like Jesus, who is a well-wisher of all living entities, and who is therefore free of envy towards anyone. If we can realize our helplessness to disentangle ourselves from the miseries of material existence, and approach such teacher with humility and sincerity, then he'll be able to teach us the path of devotion, love for God, or bhakti. 

My teacher taught me that the easiest way to come to the platform of love for the Lord is by regularly hearing and chanting His Holy Names. 

There is only one God, but He has countless number of names like Krishna, Govinda, Jehovah, Allah, etc. All These Names are invested with all His transcendental potencies. In this present age of quarrel and confusion, the scriptures recommend the hearing and chanting of God's Holy Names as the only way to achieve the perfection of life which is love for God and love for others. 

Haribol! Chant the Holy Names of God!

God is beautiful

Whenever people see this picture of Govinda, God, they are most usually astonished, aside from His being blue, or His wearing jewelry, by the fact that He is beautiful. They would say, why? And I would kid them, why not? Then they would say that it's very hard to believe for God to actually look like this amazing person. And I'd say, He is God and He wants all of us to love Him, He's supposed to be amazing. After this volley of innocent inquiries, a few actually hit a sensible question which is a great opportunity to discuss the further glories of God. Questions like "How did you know God looks like that?" "Who told you He actually looks like that?" etc. 

Aside from the Holy Bible there are other scriptures which similarly contain truths directly revealed by God or as told by His devotees. From the Bible however we are not given a very detailed description of God, Who is simply described as an ocean of light, or a burning bush; in the Qu'ran, it is even considered bad to describe the Lord. These conditions do not make these scriptures false or less important, but to get a better picture, we have to resort to other scriptures that actually describe God in a more detailed manner. Scriptures like Srimad Bhagavatam, Bhagavad Gita and Brahma Samhita, provide us with authoritative facts regarding the name, form, abode and activities of the Supreme Lord. In these scriptures we get to know not only what God looks like, how He smells, what color are His palms, etc., but also His exact address, who lives with Him there, and what His favorite activities are. 

Therefore scriptures like Srimad Bhagavatam and Bhagavad Gita are like a mother, and God is our Father Who we have not yet seen. Naturally, the only person who can tell us truthfully about a father we have never seen is our mother. So we regard scripture as an authority about God. If we don't believe in God then we got nothing to talk about. But if one believes in the existence of God, and believes that the scriptures are His words, then he cannot deny scripture as a proper foundation for this belief. 

What God looks like as described in the scriptures is the absolute truth. Fortunately, there are three ways to check whether something is the absolute truth or not. Aside from scripture; there is guru, or the pure devotee of God and knower of the actual conclusion of scripture; then God Himself as the Lord in the heart. One can know if something is the truth or not by sifting it through These three. It is an absolute necessity that all three must be in agreement. Scripture alone is dangerous without the other two, for we are left to rely on our own imperfect understanding. Hearing from guru only without checking scriptures is similarly unwise, for we are presenting ourselves open for exploitation by false gurus who are merely cheaters and charlatans.  And the danger of simply relying on listening to the Lord in the heart is that it may not be the Lord we are actually hearing, it may just be our mind or something else. 

With scripture, guru, and the Lord Himself within our hearts, being there ready to give us guidance, we must be able to appreciate the fact that God provides all necessary facilities required for us to actually know Him. But sometimes our hearts are so hardened that even God, in His form, or as His holy name, is right there in front of us we doubt Him, His beauty, His opulence, etc. We think, I know what God is supposed to look like. "He's an old guy, right Michelangelo? They said He's the oldest, so I suppose He must have long hair, all white. And I've heard He's the strongest too, so perhaps His body is buff, with six pack abs." That is our mind's idea of God. 

Yes, based on our material body, the oldest has white hair. Based on our material body the strongest is muscular. But that's where the fault of this theory lies. We are judging God according to the material conditions of our bodies. This is all speculation. Based upon ignorance of the absolute truth revealed in scripture clearly saying that God has no material body. That His form is eternal and spiritual. 

I find it ironic that people tend to question the reality of a form that is in fact the only real manifestation in this dimension in a sense  that it will exist beyond the dissolution of this realm. And on the other hand believe firmly the forms of themselves, their loved ones which will eventually disappear in time. God's form is not only beautiful, it is real, it is eternal.  And I tell myself everyday that instead of struggling with the why, to try to realize the plain truth that I know nothing, and that in order for me to know I must approach those who know. I have to place my faith in the fool proof process of the three checkpoints, scriptures, guru, and the Lord in the heart. And They all confirm that God is the most beautiful. He is in fact the source of all beauty. 

But what is more important, my teacher said, is not to see God. For to see God is actually easy. What is better than seeing God is loving God. He concluded that in fact to see God is to love God. Jesus Christ, another authority in God, said that the greatest commandment is that we love God the Father, with all our heart, mind, and entire being. In other words, all saintly personalities agree on this conclusion. God made it so easy for us to love Him. He is the most beautiful. He is supremely lovable. Now it is only up to us to open our hearts and love Him. 

The greatest gift God gave us this day and age is His Holy Names. God and His Holy Names are non-different. His Holy Names are as beautiful as God. And when one chants His Holy Names, he easily comes to the platform of love for the Lord. Therefore it is stressed in scripture that there is no other way in this age of quarrel and confusion but to chant the Holy Names. Haribol!

Most fallen

Every morning, I make it a habit to meditate upon all the wrong I had done to others. I go over them one by one, starting with the people closest to me, my family, my relatives, my friends. Doing this, I realize, and am reminded in the process, that I had inflected pain on almost all of them in one way or another. Then I go over the people outside my intimate circle, people I had encountered in school, in work, or just someone walking by the street. I try to recall what I may have done. There are so many people I have hurt, so much pain inflicted, and that's just for my classmates in elementary school. And what about all the people who didn't even know that I've offended them? Like mentally criticizing a person walking by, or talking stink behind someone's back, or taking advantage of someone while they are unaware. And that's just for human beings. As a kid, how many dogs, cats, have I kicked with or without reason? How many times have I burned down or flood up an anthill? How many times have I roasted dragon flies on a stake or ripped them apart just to see how they'd react? How many murdered animals have I consumed in my lifetime? And that's just when I was a kid. A lot of living entities have suffered, a lot of hearts were broken because I got none. 

But the worse thing is that in spite of all I had done, I can still make myself believe that I am holy, I am better than others, I have the right to judge, I am sinless. And that is my disease. This is the reason why I am not tasting love for God and others. This arrogance hardened my heart. A hard heart that is so quick to anger, so masterful in defending one's pride. A heart so sensitive to faults by others but so tolerant of his own faults. 

My teacher said that this anger towards those who have done us wrong comes from the feeling that we are worthy. That we deserve better. We deserve to be treated with more respect. We deserve a better situation. Etc. And this is also possible only because of our forgetfulness of our own faults. I am faultless therefore it is only right that I be treated with the manner according to my greatness. 

Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu in His 3rd prayer, clearly stated the qualifications of a great personality: he is humble, he is tolerant, he is always ready to offer all respect to others without expecting respect in return, and he is feeling lower than the straw in the street. In other words, this person described feels he is the most unqualified, the most sinful, the most fallen. When one is in this state of mind, my teacher continued, no matter what wrong or evil may come to him he will feel no anger.  Because he is always aware of his faults, he feels in his heart that the wrongs he had done to others far surpasses the wrongs he is suffering. Therefore he feels he deserve, not to have a better situation, but the suffering he is receiving. Being in this state of mind of feeling the most fallen, feeling the most unqualified, he is actually qualified. 

When we become angry at our situation, or hold anger towards somebody, my teacher further stated, we are eventually angry at God, because He is the Supreme controller. Why did He allow this to happen to me of all people? Why did He allow jerks to walk the earth? Etc. In this way, feeling that God is our enemy we are denied of the opportunity to experience being under His shelter by loving surrender: I am the most fallen, I have no where else to go, with my sins no one can love me unconditionally like You do, You are my only rest and refuge, please protect me. 

A blessed day

Most people believe that in this day and age, it is easier to find a needle in a haystack than to find a person who is without envy. Because of the fruitlessness of the search they simply give up and say that perhaps no such a person exists. In fact because enviousness is so common in everyone, some even think that to be envious is actually good to some extent. It serves, as some would put it, as spice to our endeavors. It helps to drive a person to achieve, to struggle, to succeed. 

Today is a most glorious day. Because today I have known a person who I can say is free of envy. While it is easy for most people to declare "I'm not envious," for the sake of simply showing people how holy one is, the actual state of freedom from enviousness naturally surfaces as symptoms of related behaviors like humility, tolerance and respectfulness. When these are present then most likely envy is not. I have already heard from people the glories of this person's character, and it has been my constant prayer that I'd also be able to see, even just a glimpse, what they had seen in him that was so great. Today I felt that God finally answered my prayer. I have come to a sort of an affirmation of belief. 

I am an envious person, and although I am suffering from it, I'm completely clueless of how to get the feeling out of my heart. It comes automatically. I feel it is beyond my power to rid myself of this disease of envy. But listening to him today, something in my heart tells me that "this is the person who can teach me how not to be envious ever again." I've heard him talk many times as a teacher, and I politely listened like a regular student, but I believe it is only today that I have trully appreciated, and in the depths of my being accepted a Teacher. 

The amazing thing was that what he had said was not really something new even, he had been telling me those things long before. In a different manner, he reiterated the principle of humility, of feeling oneself to be lower than the straw in the street as an absolute requirement in attaining success in spiritual life. A person who actually feels he is lower than the dirt in the ground cannot be envious. He is not envious because he cannot find in himself the feeling that he is a worthy person. He feels instead that he is the most fallen, the most undeserving of respect, and the lowest. Ordinary people may say that they also feel that same way, that they feel that people are above them. Yes, people may also feel that way, especially if in truth they are actually that way: most fallen. But instead of humility what they will feel is envy towards those above them, because they feel they deserve to be above, they feel they deserve respect, etc.  After all, isn't it a basic human right to be protected from being belittled or insulted based on his low status? But the feeling of being the lowest, felt by a truly humble person doesn't necessarily come from being the most sinful or the most wretched, but is out of the grace of God and the mercy of His devotee. Only by the grace of God and the mercy of His pure loving servant can we overcome enviousness and the arrogance borne out of pride. We cannot simply immitate or cheat other people, for the sake of collecting followers or admirers, into believing that we are humble or that we are without envy. Eventually, because we are not getting any happiness from pretending, the hiding behind the mask will exhaust us. 

If one wants to be free of the envy that poisons the heart with anger, jelousy, arrogance and other inauspicious elements, then one must simply look for a person who has already freed himself from all these things, accept him as a teacher, render some service unto him, and surrender at his feet all one's self-centered notions about life, and instead approach as someone who doesn't know. That is the proper way of learning how to be free not only of envy but of all other undesirable things in one's life that hinder us from tasting real happiness.