Jesus Christ said that the first and foremost commandment is that we love God, our Father, with all our heart, mind, and entire being. And second is that from that love, we should also love His other children.
To factually love others, one has to realize what they need; to give them what they really need we must know what will make them happy; to know what can make them really happy, we must know what they really are. The truth is revealed by saintly teachers and supported by scriptures: our true identity is spirit; we are not our body, we are not our mind; we are parts and parcels of the Supreme Spirit, God; our position is the dominated; and our function is to render loving service. When we know this then we can appreciate our connection to God and His children. It is said that God is the Supreme Father of every single living entity, from the highest being down to the lowly ant. Therefore every living entity, all life for that matter, is our kin. They are all children of God. Undoubtedly, acting upon concern for others is a laudable act. It is in a way pleasing to God. That explains the happiness we get out of loving. When God is pleased with us we experience joy, when God is displeased with us we experience misery.
For most of us, "others" refer to different things. Usually, it signifies blood relations, the parents, siblings of our bodies, extending at most to further degrees of body kinship, cousins, etc. These are the easiest "others" to love. Naturally, for in fact they are not really "others" per se but merely the extensions of this form which we call our "self." My father, my brother, my dog, my lawn. Have you ever experienced that instance when you felt hurt when someone scratched your car? As if the car is a part of your body. You scratched me! You bumped me! So on. That's basically what I'm talking about. This chain of "my" can even progress beyond blood relations, into my friends, my classmates, my teammates, my workmates, my neighbor, my doctor, my townmate, so on. "If you mess with my BFF, you're messing with me." It seems so easy to love others as long as these "others" are in some way part of our little chain: my others. If Ms. Houston would allow me to correct her song, I'd sing "learning to love yourself is the easiest love of all." My fellow countrymen, my fellow females, my fellow brown skin. Yes, our idea of love for others may rise so high, farthest in bodily relation from our so-called self that we may think "look how unrelated I am to this famished boy, yet I am feeding him from my own hands." But at the back of our head our mind is saying, he is my same species, he is still within the chain of my "others".
And what is our reward for this gesture, aside from feeling good and proud about oneself? If we only got ourselves to please, then we have the commendation, the gratitude, the admiration and worship of people for us to relish. For most who help, that becomes the source of happiness. That is why in this world, it seems necessary to give away thousands of awards, titles and medals for kindness, charity, and so-called selfless activities even when in truth if we really are loving, simply the love should've been itself the prize. Will charitable institutions help anonymously? That's perhaps the reason why they have names, right? (And there are those issues about scams regarding philanthropy, but that's a different subject.) Except for exploiting humanitarian work for profit, to be concerned like this is, of course, way better than not feeling concern at all. In times of desperation, we are not really so much into the means but with the result. And all kinds of humanitarian acts, irregardless of for whom it was performed, are most welcome, and necessary.
One may ask: if naturally we can feel concern only for those within the chain of our body extensions, why not just expand our circle until everyone is in it? Then we'll be concerned for everyone. Even if that is possible, this kind of love, irregardless whether for a few relatives or thousands of displaced storm survivors, if it still remains in the chain of my others, is still dependent on certain things: Conditions. Even between intimate relations, there are certain conditions that determine so-called love: If she continues to act according to what is acceptable behavior to you then you love your wife, if he continues to provide you with your needs then you love your husband, if they continue to understand your need for independence then you love your parents, etc. This is what we call conditional love. A love based on "if"s. A love whose only concern is one person, himself. This is Whitney Houston philosophy after all: "the greatest love of all is to love oneself." As opposed to what saintly teachers preach: Love God, love others. Now, some people deserve the benefit of a doubt. And for those who give away selflessly, no awards, no TV cameras, just giving for the sake of goodness, then we take our hats off. But if one actually loves God, he will have this vision that all living entities, not just humans, are spirit souls, parts and parcels of God. He will then realize that we have a common Father, therefore every being, other than ourselves, or the extensions of ourselves, is a relative, brother, kin. If he gets this vision of who he really is, and who others really are, and what relationship we have with our common Father, then there's no need to artificially take everyone in our circle of concern. If we are seeing every living entity as spirit soul, children of God, then the love and concern comes naturally. The difference is plain simple: in the first one, the center is God; in the other the center is you.
And how exactly is it to love others? To simply give away food and clothing after a storm? To help someone change a tire? To be concerned out of pity. Yes, these are all good. Like I've said a little kindness is way better than a lot of meanness. But by our kindness are we really giving the ultimate goodwill to a person in need? Are we addressing the real need of a person? It seems that the answer will always revert to the truth of our identity: we must know who we are. We are spirit souls, parts and parcels of God. What we need is spiritual food, to taste an exchange of love with the Supreme Soul. No matter how much help we give to a person, if that help is simply directed to the body, the relief one gets from that is just a band aid solution. It is a relief, a gasp of air while drowning, but it will not last. Give him relief food, he'll eat for a day. We need food, shelter and all the basics, and by all means these must be provided. But we have to remember that simply providing these things will make someone happy for a awhile, but a profound hunger still gnaws in his heart: he is unsatisfied, lonely, empty. He needs a shelter which no storm can bring down. No amount of material thing can satisfy the soul. So if one plans to take the path of happiness by material means, then the road ahead of him is not only long, it is not only endless, but its fruitless.
Love God, love others, all the saintly teachers agree is the real path to real happiness. And loving others here should not only be referred to as humanitarian work. Like what was previously said, it is not even supposed to be exclusive to living entities inside a human body only. But love as what it really means. A love that is beyond conditions, a love that is beyond material bodily considerations. Love for others here is a love that surfaces not only after storms or calamities, but it endeavors everyday to get everyone out of the greatest calamity of all time: suffering birth, old age, disease, and death. It is a love that has been always there in our hearts, sleeping, covered by a false love that is merely love for one's self. This love is our very essence.
Simply put, my teacher taught, real love for others is loving them at least as much as how you love yourself. This may not be so easy as it sounds. It is actually setting aside your own wellbeing for the wellbeing of others. It is demoting yourself from first to last place. Now how easy it is to sacrifice one's place in the rat race? As easy as how anger or envy shoots up when someone takes your seat, or your job or your lover. Loving others is a vast ocean to cross, but when we are already loving God, then love for others is achieved as easy as crossing over a puddle made from a calf's hoof-print.
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